Unjustly Guilted

It always seems that when you are at your lowest, the devil likes to pour vinegar on your already bleeding wounds. I am so sick of feeling like the dirt under peoples feet. I know that i have more value then that. But when you hear it everyday, especially from someone who is suppose to be your family and love you no matter what, it gets pretty old. 
Its sad to think that my own family has never really been a family to me. I have ALWAYS been there for them, loved them through everything, and yet when i need them the most, they are never there. When I look for support, no one is to be found.
The even sadder things is that my church friends, are more of a family to me then my own. My friends are more family to be then they have ever been. I just dont understand how you can treat someone that way, yet claim that your are a Christian. Yes, Im only human, i am going to make mistakes...but that means i have them to learn from, not be judged and reminded of them everyday. I cant stand how hypocritical people can be. It makes me angry, and then It makes me upset.
And they wonder why ever since i moved back in that I am NEVER home. I hate it here, I hate being treated and reminded of my past, when God has already forgiven me. You NEVER treated my brothers like this, Yall excepted them with open arms, I mean come on one of them is gay!! I mean what the hell??? It makes me so mad to think that they will support my brothers in whatever they want, but when the supposed "golden child" (Me) makes a few mistakes, i get chastised for it. And yet they wonder why I moved out in the first place. Its like they dont even realize that they do this to me. They always wonder why i am never around. Well, this is why! I am sick of it! I wont take it anymore!!